i like him he likes me. what is the problem? i dont know but i do know that something are slow moving but not this slow speed baby i want speed i got invited to a party but i can't go not because there is going to be drinking and smoking but because i don't want to go alone. i don't know if i want to stop doing things im halfway i can go bad or go clean i dont know but if i choose to go clean i have to give him up he won't love me if im good thats part of my charm thats why he cares i think would he care would he stop caring? i know i cant lose him i just can't in my darkest days he cheers me up . but he is also...odd? my  mom thinks he is hiding something from me. he used to only text and night but now it's whenever. the other problem is his friends i can't stand them  and i am surly not their favorite person but screw them i don't give a shit what they think. ... i think. i might but who know i never do so how can they? 

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