after i started highschool the first few weeks i was misserable i had no friends nobody. i was...innocent. i was never a "good" kid. i always testinf the limits. wondered if i should or not, but always did. i was my own person. but the problem was nobody likes my own person not even me so i becaome someone people would like i have friends people to hang out with. i should have been happy, but i was not i had everything i had ever wanted. but as it turned out i wanted the wrong things. these friend truned me to drugs. and im NOT balming my drug using on them. not at all they turned me to them i made the choice. and i was horrible i cheated in school, lied to my family, lied to my friends, turned something i never wanted to be. fake. there are thing i have to admit to myself before i can move on. i did it all from pills to liquor. i took pills and while is sucked at first i wanted to do it again. i still do. i smoked anyone looking for a heavy chain smoker right her she is, i also drank and smoked weed. im doing better i really am i feel confidant, powerful, sexy. and i dont care what people say i am in a place now where im trying hard to be what i was. what i didn't know at first in high school i was happy. yea i didnt have firend but i went through the motions in hs.

im done. im pissed so my typing is fast and kind of unreadable. i will go back and try to fix it! sorry for any mistakes. 

im soo fucking done with all this bullshit im so done with pretending to be something im not. i dont give a shit if they think im i bitch. im done with wondering why they think i have an atidude problem there is nothing wrong with me or the way i live my life. but you know what if they thing there is something wrong with me. im going to give them a reason to think im a bitch! i will say it if i want to i will do it if i want to! I will be it if i want to. they dont belive in collage i will be the best thy have ever seen i will get i degree just because i can and its something i want! i will be who i want all this buillshit has stolen the biggest part of me my identity! im getting it back! its all me now and i dont care what you think or say i will not let this bullshit bring me down anymore! i will rise through the bullshit to quote duece "fuck their felling they can suck my dick!"